"Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place, suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace, suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste, it all revolves around you."
- Moulin Rouge
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Love and Hate
People always say that there’s a thin line between love and hate. But really, how thin can it be?
I’ve always believed that everything is characterized by opposites, thanks to one of the philosophers I like, Heraclitus. Cold won’t exist had there been no hot, nor would fat had there been no thin. This is also the reason why I don’t believe in World Peace. Not that I love war or bombing. It’s just that how can peace exist if war won’t? How can you characterize something that is white had black’s presence been neglected?
And I think, this line that most people call, is just something to clear the contrasting definitions of love and hate. But how can people distinguish this line?
In a relationship, they say that love is genuine when you sacrifice things that you love for that one person. Again in this dilemma, you have to lose a part of yourself to say that you’ve gained something more worth it. Losing is a big no to gambling but considering that life is the biggest gamble that exists, how can losing something be beneficial?
What I am trying to say is that, this thin line thing, I know it’s figurative, but seriously, it makes things more complicated. Distinguishing the differences between any two objects will lead you to something infinite. Simply because nothing in this world will ever be the same.
And this I want to ask, how can you differentiate two things that are simply each other’s definition? And if they are each other’s definition, then they are the same. In this manner we can clearly say that two things defined by each other are of the same thing. Love defines hate, hate defines love. From the conclusion above, love and hate are the same. So how can there be a thin line between the two if they are at the same point? How can people even know the difference? How can they be sure that what they feel is really love or if it’s already hate? Probably this is the reason why they say the quotation, “The more you hate, the more you love.” Because they are the same thing.
I know you’re perhaps asking how can it be possible to love and hate a person at the same time. The quotation I mentioned should not be taken literally. It does not mean that when you hate someone, you love him also. Instead, it gives us the explanation that the moment you hate someone, the love starts as well. Don’t confuse yourself, I am saying that when you hate someone, you invest so much anger that you’re not even aware that love has been growing since day one. Because the moment you’ve allowed hate to spring between the two of you, you have also allowed love. Why? There is a direct relationship between love and hate. And the reason why they say that there is a thin line between the two is because the moment you decide to turn the table and love that person you hate so much, the love automatically rises at the same level.
That’s why they say the more you hate, the more you love. You just need one life-changing moment to see the other side. It’s just like a coin. A coin has two faces, one is the head and the other is the tail. The moment you flip it, chances are it will be either head or tail, we’re talking about equal chances. The more you’re betting on head, unconsciously, you are also betting on tail because technically they both have a probability of 50%, so whatever you do, they have equal chances.
Just like in love and hate, what you bet in hate, you also bet in love and vice versa. This also explains why being hurt by the people we love the most is the worst thing ever. Because the love we’ve given has the same impact as the hate we’re gonna get. That’s why we should choose wisely and carefully who to hate and who to love. Because at the end of the day, we are just talking about the same coin. The same coin that everyone has.
This now explains the thin line we introduced in the first paragraph. The thin line is therefore that one life-changing moment that can cause the biggest effect in our lives, something so great that it can bring us to the other side. It’s thin in a sense that it’s just one moment that can happen more than once over time probably in just varying intensities but not thin like it’s just a petty one. And why can’t we see it? Because we are so busy looking at the far more complicated things that we think are right well in fact, if we will be more rational we will realize that the reason the line we create between love and hate is so thin is because we are the ones separating the two, because we are the lines.
Unedited: Truth Be Told
Do you honestly want to know why people treat you that way? Why you feel a little less than you should be? Or why things aren’t going the way you planned them? It’s BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOU ALONE.
You can’t blame everyone for how they’re treating you. Think about it, if everybody’s not treating you seriously and you’ve been ranting about being unappreciated by your “friends” for months, don’t you think it’s you who’s acting wrong? I mean if it’s everybody who does it and not even one’s different then perhaps the blame is on you. In an exam, when a prof gives a very difficult set of questions and everyone complains, it’s very easy to say that the exam is really hard and perhaps impossible to get even half of the total items. But if a student of his scores an average, then it can be concluded that the exam may be hard but can be passed. It’s that one student who’d break the first judgement and eventually gives the right impression. But in your case, if you always say that NONE OF THEM has given you what you deserve, then maybe you should take 3 steps backward and evaluate yourself.Why don’t the people see you the way you see yourself? Is the blame to be on them or on you? That maybe the reason why they aren’t seeing the real you is because you haven’t really shown it to them? That the whole time you’ve been questioning how you’re treated is not for them to answer but for you to realize that all this time, you haven’t been true to yourself.
And in that case, it’s quite unfair in their part because you’ve been judging them from day 1 that you called them friends as to people who don’t really know you. You may say that you didn’t say anything against them, not even a word, but the fact that you questioned how you’re being treated by them is an indirect way of saying that you’re not getting what you think you deserve. For if you’re contended, you wouldn’t ask why you’d just be thankful for it.
I also think that how you stereotyped fun and happy people is wrong. I am very very energetic and cheerful but I can strongly say that I get the respect that I’ve always wanted from my friends even if I’ve known them for just a year. And when I say friends, I really mean it. Not by the definition of being together every single day and experiencing the rough times. For when I say friend, it means we didn’t just spend the hard times together, we survived and learned from it along the way and we’re grateful to have each other. Respect is not for the serious people alone. No matter how gullible or senseless you are, if the people around you feel that you deserve to be respected and taken seriously, they will. And this is not because of what you think of yourself, it’s because of how you’ve been a friend to them.
Certainly, you are one of the people who have high regards on themselves but the truth of the matter is you are one lame person who always notices what’s wrong, figures out how it happened, but never had the courage to step-up and do the right thing to make a change. Things can never be better if you yourself wouldn’t be. You can’t make a good community if you can’t make a good home.
Try to see things from another perspective. Try to see if you’ve been really showing your true skin the whole time you’ve been questioning your stand as to how you’ve been treated. I promise you, if you start to be a little truer to yourself, everything will be better. Cause everything starts in the inside and will eventually show in the outside.
You know sometimes, you think you know everything already, that nobody knows you more than yourself. Let me tell you that in this world full of secrets, the person you know least can be the person who knows you most. Because getting to know the real character of someone doesn’t need a list of info about him/her nor a book of stories about his/her past, it’s easiest to see the whole picture when you’re at a distance from your observation point.
You should also be guilty for asking too much from the people around you. You shouldn’t expect anything in a true relationship such as friendship. Cause if what’s happening between the two of you is real and genuine, you wouldn’t have the guts to ask why he/she’s not being good to you or why he/she’s not giving you the love you deserve. Because your relationship should be UNCONDITIONAL. Not only because he didn’t do an item in your checklist you’d immediately question his intention.
I hope you try to do this. I hope you realize what the mistake is. I hope you’d be true to yourself. I hope you’d be wiser. Because I am your friend. And even if you’ve offended me by your words, I want nothing but a better you. Because seriously, I feel sorry for you.
Unedited: Words From A Girl In Love
Do you want to know why I like you? It is because you never made me feel that I have to be somebody else in front of you. I don’t have to be something extraordinary for me to make you feel happy.That by being just the NORMAL me, the me that no one has ever seen, is enough to bring joy to someone like you. I don’t need jokes or punch lines, I don’t have to talk a lot, I don’t have to exert so much effort to impress you or to show you that I am above the rest. You made me feel that I, just being myself, am enough.
And I just want to tell you that I felt this way from the moment you threw out the lamest joke I have ever heard and yet it made me laugh, for the first time, effortlessly. I didn’t feel the urge to laugh, it is like to me, I liked what you said and it made me laugh. From then on, I saw you as someone different, because no one has ever made me feel that way. I have never felt that my entire life until that moment. And I don’t know if it meant something to you but damn I loved that feeling, I loved it so much perhaps the reason why I love you, because you let me see things the different way. You made me appreciate people the way they should be.
I guess this is why you are very special to me. I talk a lot about love and I am definitely good at it, but what you did to me, what you presented to me, it was something that cannot be said, it can only be understood when felt and you made me feel it. I like you because you are lovable the way you are. You are not that good-looking, I don’t know if you’re smart, I don’t care who you were before, I don’tmind if you have failing grades, I don’t freaking care what you are, all I care about is that I like you because you are you. I don’t even think like is enough, I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU. And if these reasons are not enough, I can give you even a million more reasons why. You are that worth it. You are worth my entire life and a day. You are the one for me. You complete me.
I don’t know if you have the same feelings for me. I also want to tell you that you are the only person who made me run out of words to say. When you asked me that simple question it left me blank. I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know how I was able to get out of that moment. I don’t know if you realized that. You made me feel that there is something more to me than just being funny and witty, that I am a better person.
The last night that we spent together, although we weren’t alone together, you made me feel so special. When you asked me if I knew how to skydive, I wanted to kiss you. And when you asked me why I was pissing you off, I wanted to tell you because I love you. Why the hell are you asking me questions I have never answered? These just make me love you more.
Days ago, I confessed to you that I like you and you didn’t say anything. And I thought I meant something more than just a friend to you. But I guess not. Had I meant something more, you would’ve probably replied of some sort. That confession made me feel like I was the worst girl in this world. You don’t like me. How am I supposed to deal with that?
Just so you know, you are the reason why I believe now that TIME COULD REALLY STOP. That this saying doesn’t mean time literally stops, but instead, that our hearts have clocks of their own, it’s in sync with the real time but it could go beyond reality, it could be stopped, you made mine stop. I clearly remember how that day went. My friend asked me to go with her and I had been ranting the whole week that I don’t see you and I don’t understand why. And then when we were about to leave the building, I saw you approaching and I don’t know what to do. I stood still, held on to the railings which were by the way at the left side and I was like standing at the center. I, unconsciously went to the left side because my world focused on you alone, I didn’t see my surrounding anymore. And while I was reaching for the railings, you were actually at the left side as well. But you didn’t greet me and I didn’t greet you. But I didn’t know this the moment I was in front of you. Because if I were to describe what I saw, you were there standing in front of me, you weren’t looking at me, and we were there standing 2 to 3 inches apart, take note of the word standing. Then suddenly I went back to reality and my friend asked me why we didn’t greet each other. And there I thought to myself that you weren’t standing, I probably was but not you, you were in reality walking and to me you were just standing. The magical feeling exists. It existed when I was with you.
I am not ranting because you don’t like me. I am saying all of this because I think I have to. I have to let this out. I felt so much of the world with you. But it has to stop because now I know that it’s one-sided.
Thank you for everything that you showed and taught me. For making me feel such new things, for opening me to a whole new world of life and love and for making me realize that indeed, fairytale and reality can co-exist. For the last time, I love you.
FIRST MOVE.The two words and one action that can make or break one’s heart. It takes a lot of courage for one to do this but it doesn’t necessarily mean that one is sincere. Normally the guys do the first move, although some of the girls of today are not as patient as those like before and they confidently approach the guys and tell them straight to their faces that they like them. It is risky but life is too short to go beating around the bush for them. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. It depends on a lot of factors like the maturity of the guy, his open-mindedness, family background, etc. But I like to talk more about the GUY doing the first move because this blog is intended to explore more on that scenario.
Specifically for the girls who like the guy, the first move means so much. It is like the GO SIGNAL that the guy is consistent and serious. The guys may not know but this first move makes the lives of the ladies a little more colorful. It makes them dream of their own fairytale. It takes them to a whole new level of imagination. Because this is how they value what the guys have done.
The moment the guy places his arms over her shoulders, holds her hand, regularly tells her how his day went , asks her if she is okay, looks at her like she is the most beautiful person in this world, offers his shoulder to her, messages her every single night, and so many more, all of these cause one simple lady to lie on her bed, stare at the blank ceiling and wonder if he really likes her or if he is just playing around.
A girl can even think so much to the point that she just wants to ask the guy if he likes her or not. But not all girls can do this. So what they do instead is they drown themselves with the sweet memories they have with the guy and convince themselves that they are just friends.
I know how hard it is. Especially when you see that this guy is different from the rest. He presents to you a very rare characteristic and you fall in love with this. You realize how weird stuff turn out to be interesting when you’re with him, how silly jokes can be so hilarious, how boring activities result to unforgettable ones, how the simple act of sitting in the car can be so perfect when he’s the one sitting beside you, and how a stressful day magically becomes blissful when you talk to him. This unbelievable feeling tugs every girl’s heart to the idea of love. It is delightful but it is mischievous as well.
Sometimes a girl knows that what she has with a guy can lead to a more serious relationship but there are also times when everything is so vague. They enjoy the time they have until the moment turns the table and shows them how they’ve spent so much time together and makes them realize how special they are to each other. These sudden realizations break the ice and trigger the awkwardness.All because of a single action. An action that is cherished if done with utmost sincerity and is cursed if not.
If what the guy did is for real and he is willing to fight for it ‘til the end then I guess nothing is wrong. But if there is a hint of fooling around, then this just kills the girl. Most especially the girl who didn’t ask for anything but friendship and sadly falls for the trap. How she wishes to turn back time and undo the act of accepting his offer to be friends. Because everything could have been a whole lot better without his presence. Of course she does not think anymore of the good things he has shared with her. It all gets down to the fact that he destroyed her private and peaceful life with his existence and his unwanted first move. She just wants to get out of this chaotic world for some time and returns if she’s ready. But apparently, she can’t.
And this just brings both to a wasted friendship. It can be mended but no matter how much you put the shattered pieces together, they just won’t fit the way they used to perfectly. There will always be a gap in every piece. It is a reality of every relationship.
I don’t know why this always happens, but if I were to say my take on this it is that yes, they do a certain action, but it is for you to see it as a friendly thing or a level-up action. From where I am right now, I have learned that in a very deceiving crowd, being invincible works. You can smile every time he becomes sweet, you can let your heart jump when he gives you little surprises, but these should not let you fall in love with him. You may enjoy these romantic things but you should not take it as a hint that he likes you. Until he says his TRUE INTENTION and WHAT HE IS REALLY FEELING FOR YOU, everything’s unsure.
But I also believe that love will always be a gamble. No matter how safely you play it, you will inevitably reach the point where you have to make a major decision.So you just have to blend in with the situation to come up with the most appropriate decision.
I guess we will never be certain when to give in and when to hold back. It perhaps cannot be deciphered because it is part of the trade. As Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, “It is difficult to know at what moment love begins; it is less difficult to know that it has begun.”
PLAYING WITH FIRE
“I think you’re playing with fire.”
When I hear this line, I remember the scene in Sex and The City 2 where Charlotte (Kristin Davis) warned Carrie (Sarah Jessica Park) about meeting up with his ex, Aidan (John Corbett).
I’ve been saying this line for like more than 100 times already to people who are in the same shoes as Carrie. It’s actually difficult to be in this situation because you do not know what lies ahead. I mean, all of our decisions are to be considered risks since everyone agrees that LIFE IS A GAMBLE, but there are ventures wherein the results can be predicted.
For an instance, when you decide to watch a movie starring Angelina Jolie, you are definitely sure that Angelina Jolie will be there. I believe you’ll find this example odd because who the hell would put her name on the poster if she won’t be in the movie? But the fact stays that your decision to watch a film of Angelina Jolie is successful because you’ve seen her in at least one of the scenes.
But there are also decisions that no matter how hard you try to visualize, you just can’t see what will happen. Imagine a guy being sweet to you, and since you’re a hopeless romantic, you will soon be in love with this guy without even knowing or finding out if he’s really in to you. See, you’ve accepted the roll of the dice because that is what your instinct told you or perhaps you are so caressed by his moves to the point that you do not care whatever happens. Or you might have injected in your mind that YOU CAN’T BE TOGETHER but still you’ve fallen for him. For high school, this is the norm. But college? You should’ve at least have an idea of what counts and what is useless.
What’s even harder is when you are in a relationship, and a temptation is coming up right in front of you. This case is difficult especially if the FORMAL/TRUE/LEGAL relationship is in a rough course. Why? Because chances are, you’ll see your current relationship as a mess and it’s making your life a piece of junk. You’ll see all the flaws, all the lacks, and all the wrong actions of your partner. BECAUSE IT IS A UNIVERSAL TRUTH that when you hate someone, you won’t see any good in him. Not even one. Or you’ll just wait for the relationship to end and start a new one with your new found love.
WHAT TO DO. First, You just have to leave the shadows of your WHAT IFS. Stop asking yourself, “What if he’s just really sweet and all that he’s doing to me is normal?” , “What if he’s the right guy and my boyfriend right now is just part of the whole process?”, and lastly, “What if I’m overseeing things here?” WHAT IFS are FOR CONFUSION PURPOSES alone. Reality check, there’s no what if video in life. The thing that happens after your make or break moment is what counts and not the COULD’VE BEEN part.
Second, stop blinding yourself that YOU ARE JUST FRIENDS. This line is as common as finding an “A/AN” article in an essay. You will never ever consider a guy if you’re not into him. His moves are NOTHING unless you allow them to invade your life. And you will never tell your friends that he made your heart jump unless you like him.
Third, try to balance everything. It’s not bad to weigh the decisions you make, to consider the people who value more in your heart.
Fourth, clear everything. Do all the necessary decisions. If you have to break someone’s heart or if fate’s good to you, even grant him what he really wants, then do it. That’s the reason why you had DIVISION after SUBTRACTION in Math. Because in order for you to assess every person in your life, you have to diminish them from a certain category and place them somewhere you are comfortable. You have to divide your heart into groups and create a system where everyone in your life has a part be it an untouchable or the most important.
And fifth, listen to your heart. It’s the final judge. After all the brain-draining decisions, you have to confide with your emotions.
After this, everything will be in there perfect places. Not that I am assuring you that life would be hassle-free, but I guess better than what you have right now.
To my dearest friend who’s in this case right now, I know you’ll make the right decision. You just have to settle everything first right now then proceed to what’s next. This is just the schematics my dear. You still have the final design. :)
Everyday we are confronted with tons of problems, pressures, rejections, and frustrations. Sometimes we can’t help but shatter into pieces when everything seems to fall apart. We can’t seem to find any more solutions to our problems. We want to simply disappear and bid goodbye to our hellish lives here on earth. We beg for serenity. We beg for ultimate justice. WE BEG FOR ENLIGHTENMENT.
As of the moment, I, myself, am undergoing this phase. This is not my first time, but I just want to say that this is far off worse than what I had before. It’s killing me right now that I want to vanish and just wait for the time that I’ll be ready to face this world again. It is like I am yearning to be a little less independent. ‘Cause it’s hard when you know you have a battalion of loved ones who will support you no matter what, but still during the fight, it’s only all up to you.
I just want to runaway from this world, and live like nothing can affect me, nothing can hurt me. But I can’t. All I have is reality and it sucks. Why can’t I just join Peter Pan and be carefree forever?
I’m trying to give my all and it seems like no one cares. Those who should don’t mind me, they don’t even bother giving me a second chance. But I thank those who never get tired of boosting my confidence. Those who always believe in me and in what I can do.
Slowly as I write this, I am trying to analyze why these things are happening to me. Maybe I am too confident of myself. Maybe my goals are too selfish that I don’t think of others anymore.
Or the best possible reason could be, probably, God wants me to be closer to Him, that is why He’s giving me these burdens. I have always been a faithful daughter to Him, but perhaps, He wants more. He is probably missing our conversations, our heart-to-heart talk, and my funny reflections on life. And since He is a very loving and amazing Father, He puts this idea into me through trials. Good thing I got the message, although not right away, at least I was still able to.
So to all those who are suffering right now, probably worse than what I am going through, it’s nice to pause for a while and chat with God. He is our Creator, and now that we are breaking into pieces, let Him pick us up from where we have fallen and make us whole again. Just like what we used to do when we were kids, when we had wounds, we go to our parents, tell them the whole thing, and they will take care of everything else. :)
If only he knows how happy I am whenever I receive a message from him, whenever I hear his name from other people, whenever I find out that he has a new achievement in life, whenever I get to learn that he is slowly reaching all his dreams, and when one by one, he gets to accomplish the plans we shared together when we were still kids.
If only he knows how much joy it gives me when people praise him, when he receives a new award, and when my friends actually think that he is a great person.
If only he knows how he makes me smile secretly when I see him across the hallway, when our eyes meet and we suddenly look away, when I hear him laugh, when I see him walk on the other side of the road, and most especially, when I overhear that he made a fool of himself once again.
But I also hope that he knows how much pain it brings me when I hear from our common friends, who doesn’t know that we were a couple once, how sweet he and his new girlfriend are. How much experiences they have shared, thinking that I am supposed to be the one with him and not her. How much bad days they have had together and wishing it was I that had a bad day with him so that I could comfort him in the best way that I know. How much fights they have had in their relationship and how they fixed them and be sweet once again. And how many crazy times they’ve had, contemplating on the fact that I could have made each moment definitely crazier than what she has done and that we could obviously be more outrageous than them.
I hope he knows that he is the only guy who can keep me quiet, who can make me run out of words, who can make me see myself as the dumbest person in this world, and who can tell me straight to my face the worst traits that I have.
I hope he knows that no matter how mad I am at him, I can’t stand not talking to him when he talks to me.
I hope he knows that when I have problems, he is the first person I want to approach and talk about them because I know he will give me the best answer and the most comforting words.
I hope he knows that he is the only guy that I can’t figure out, I can’t analyze, I can’t predict and I can’t ignore.
I hope he knows how insane I could possibly be just him talking to me. How nervous I could be when he’s just inches away, and how my heart jumps when he’s standing in front of me.
And it’s just so sad that all of these I keep to myself.
I hope he will have a great day today. He deserves it. :)
The Day I Will Meet the Right Guy
i’ll meet the right guy for me during the saddest and loneliest moment in my life. this i am sure of because i know that i am the truest person as of that moment.
i have no guts to laugh and make other people laugh. i have no other choice but to cry in front of him. i can’t sing lady marmalade anymore just to lift my hopes up. i can’t dance to the beat of dancing queen just to make me feel contended. i won’t be able to throw even the lamest punch line. i won’t have the confidence to say my favorite pick-up line. i can’t curse anyone. i can’t lie. i can’t pretend anymore. i can’t think of happy thoughts. i can’t invent a story that could make me grin.
i don’t know anything about him until that moment for if knew him, i have already stalked him and probably know where he should be during that specific time. i haven’t heard him laugh. haven’t seen him frown. haven’t been with him. haven’t been together in a jeepney. haven’t sat beside him in a bus. haven’t teased him. haven’t followed him in a hallway. haven’t eaten with him. haven’t stared at his eyes. all that could occur is that we have been under the same sky, other than that, it’s impossible.
i can’t offer him anything as of that moment. just myself. and i believe i won’t be able to internalize everything that he will do during that time. it will be a very different experience that day for the both of us. for i will not be the way i normally am.
i will treasure that moment till the day i die. it will never happen again unless he leaves me and bids goodbye to this world which again will never happen because he will never ever, not even think of it, leave me. he will always protect me no matter what. risk his life for me. save me when people are torturing me. give me courage when i don’t have the strength to face my problems. take care of me always. forgive me for my mistakes. accept my imperfections. understand me when i am immature. comfort me when i am in a bad condition. and love me like i am the best woman he has ever met. love me like i haven’t made a single sin for me to be loved that way.
we will eat together. watch movies together. be crazy together. commit crimes together. laugh together. sing together. dance together. sleep together. pray together. cry together. we will be happy together. we will never be sad, simply because we have each other.
it will never be a perfect relationship. the most imperfect yet the sweetest.
we are made for each other and perfect to be together.
it’s all a matter of time. and i promise that after the first day that we are together, i shall make him read this, yes i will print a copy of this one, and we will look at each other like it is the only way we can communicate. no words. just pure emotions. and we shall be the happiest couple from then on.
A Note on Friendship
According to the New Oxford American Dictionary (Apple Dictionary), a friend is a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations; a person who is not an enemy or who is on the same side. But in reality, there is so much more to say about its meaning. It is like “love” and “art”, there is no specific definition. Each has their own value for the word. So let me share my take on it.
When I say you’re my friend, it only takes me a maximum of 7 days to level-up or demote your status. Level-up in a sense that I want you to be my close friend, wherein we share secrets and all, and demote like we’re slowly having a gap between us, which I like because I don’t think we can go anywhere else. Because I say your my friend for two reasons: One, if we bond often (and i should probably be really enjoying your company) or two, if I’m very comfortable when I’m with you (instant friends). I’m not being cruel or anything, you shouldn’t waste your time with a bunch of jerks. You have to realize that life is short, so make the most out of it. And I believe, it would be better if you spend it with the people you truly love. I am not always right with my decisions, because sometimes I tend to lose the people who could have been my close friends for I thought they weren’t supposed to be my friends. But I’m not regretting my choices as well, if not for my kinda wrong judgments, i couldn’t have possibly found my best friends.
But the thing is, when we say someone is our friend, whether he eventually becomes our best friend or not, he will always have a special space in our heart, that we should not forget. Because sometimes, when one becomes our friend, then in the process we gain another friend, and we enjoy the company of the second person more, we are inclined to make the first person a little less than he should be, as a friend of course. Which is obviously wrong. This is not a competition. There should be no rankings among them. When we give a part of ourselves to someone we call “friend”, we should give them the treatment they rightfully deserve. No matter how many they are, regardless of their social status or educational attainment, we should give them of equal importance. Because they are our friends. That itself is an enough reason for the said action to be done.
Also, when one becomes our friend, we shouldn’t expect anything from him. We are not suppose to set standards or a list of tasks. For if any of these start to rise, then maybe we just have to stop the friendship. It’s not heading for the right direction. They have minds and free will, let them handle their lives. The reason why you have this bond is for you to grow together as a person. And once you oblige or compel him to be someone else, you’re putting an end to that person’s development. So selfish to do such a thing. Our point of existence is for us to be with them whenever they need us, to be a shoulder to lean on, to enlighten them during their dark moments, to cheer them up when they are sad, to offer them a hand when they can’t carry the burden anymore, etc. We are basically each others NUMBER ONE FAN. Imposing anything on them is one of the worst things you can do. Respect them and their decisions. It’s all about respect anyway. It is a give and take relationship, don’t be a bitch and just take and take without giving back anything in return.
This is a reminder for everyone. As we progress in our lives, we should not leave this piece of note behind. We have a propensity to forget the most important lesson in life just because something, we think, is more important. Often, the things we value less in the present, become the priceless things in the future. Don’t do anything that you will regret someday. Losing a friend is probably one of the hardest things to accept. So as much as possible, do not take any of your friends for granted. They are not your toys. Respect them. Cherish them. Treasure them. Love them.
You’ve probably experienced waiting for a friend for minutes or hours and seriously, it’s irritating. It is like you wanna tell them, “Who are you to make me wait this long?” and after they arrive all they will say is, “Sorry.” And since you’re friends after a minute or so, you will end up laughing with each other, it is as if nothing happened.
This situation is easy if you’re just plainly friends and if you’re only waiting for hours. But what if you are already waiting for weeks, months, or years just for him to arrive? Will someone even apologize for keeping you waiting or everything will just turn out to be pure imagination?
It is difficult to remain standing when everything around you is falling. It might not occur to you immediately that it’s happening but in time, it will. And it’s hard when all that you’ve pictured is merely a shadow of reality. But what’s even worse is when you see him every day and yet nothing is still happening between the two of you. No action is done. And slowly, your hope is dying because every second of the moment you see him smiling, you know that it is not for you. You do not know to whom it is for. And deep inside you are hoping that it is for you but in reality, which is clear to you only you want to keep the vagueness in the situation, it is not. You just can’t face the fact that you’re not anymore part of the story, which is mainly the problem.
Sometimes, you want to blind yourself with false beliefs thinking that it will make you happy. You tell yourself that the both of you will end up together and that everything is just an obstacle in your relationship. And the truth is, you have to wake up from your dream. You have to deal with the facts. Because if not, every single day, you will open your eyes thinking that the world is crashing, that your life is worthless, and that nothing seems to be going right. Which is damn not true.This is the result of all the lies you have created in your mind. Don’t think of it as a punishment for if it is one, it is all your fault. No one told you to fantasize too much. You’re old enough to know what’s wrong from what’s right.
So basically you have to know when to draw the line. You have to understand the boundary between reality and imagination, the art of detaching yourself from your illusions. It is very hard to identify which is which when you’re already trapped between the two but it won’t exist if it can’t be solved. Keep in mind that problems can’t be solved in the same manner that you have established them. So if the whole crap happened because you’re such a fool and narrow-minded, do not expect that it can be solved by you still being a jerk. You have to open your mind to ideas that are whole lot different from what you have in the past. You have to mature, you have to grow in order for you to fully understand the whole situation. And this won’t happen if all you do is lie on your bed and think of your sweet moments together. And who knows, you might actually end up together. That she is just probably waiting for you to be a better man.
All the things in this world happen for a reason. A reason that we might not be able to comprehend but could still be used to make the right decision. And most of the time, it will never be easy. For even William Shakespeare said, "The course of true love never did run smooth."